Can a man and a woman be ‘just’ good friends?
Spoiler alert (for life): of course they can…
Spoiler alert (for the film): …but this is something that one has to learn on their own: this movie ultimately says that no, if two people enjoy each other’s company, then, no matter how long it takes, but sooner or later they will be together.
It’s a dangerous thesis to present, especially if the person watching the film is a teenager trying to understand how to navigate interpersonal and, specifically, romantic relationships.
When Harry Met Sally… has been one of the first ‘favourite films’ in my life.
It keeps a smile on my face for most of its running time, although it doesn’t shy away from misunderstandings in relationships and heartbreaks.
What makes it work is how natural the relationship depicted feels, thanks to screenwriter Nora Ephron and director Rob Reiner putting their own experiences into the film, in such a way that even the characters’ personality excesses feel totally believable.
Despite their ‘statement names’, Sally Albright and Harry Burns are more complex than it appears at first glance.
Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal, but also Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby are all adorable.
So is a New York City made of restaurants, museums, autumn foliage, bookshops and stores where to buy presents for your friends.
So are the ‘real couples’ narrating their stories here and there during the film.
It’s an almost perfect rom-com1, and a model for a lot of films2 that came later.
I loved it. Today, I just wish it wasn’t. I wish Ephron and Reiner had stuck to their original ending, where Harry and Sally just remain friends. It wouldn’t have been a ‘sad’ ending: just, a down-to-Earth, realistic one.
I wish some of the ‘real people’ on those sofas told stories of how they stayed good friends throughout their lives.
But maybe it is just the disillusioned old me who’s talking.
Maybe I’m just jealous of Harry and Sally, and I’d happily have what they’re having.
This post is my submission to this month’s IndieWeb Movie Club, a spin-off of the IndieWeb Carnival which, of course, I’m very happy to join. Thanks to Benji for hosting!