Dear friend,
Oscar season is here, and by that I mean, the period between the nominations announcement and the Academy Awards ceremony.
In the last few years, I have ‘accepted the (self-imposed) challenge’ to see all the films nominated for Best Picture before the winner is announced. This year it feels like a daunting goal because many of the six movies I haven’t seen yet haven’t even been released in Continental Europe, so they will be rushed to theatres in February. And Nickel Boys doesn’t even have a release date in Belgium.
Furthermore, three of them are very serious biopics - the absolute worst genre if you ask me, because I don’t see the point in telling a ’true story’ if then you embellish it for dramatic effect - more than two hours long.
I think I will declare defeat for this year.
Seventh Code, written and directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa, Japan, 2013 - ⭐⭐
Last week I said ‘When in doubt, go Kurosawa’, but for once this strategy backfired. The title of the film itself gave me an idea of where the apparently loose plot was going, and I was happy to be validated, but then what was shown at the end left me completely baffled, and not in a good way. I guess he wanted to do something different? Well, let’s accept it’s good to be surprised, now and then.
The Omen, directed by John Moore, written by David Seltzer, United Kingdom/US, 2006 - ⭐⭐
Yes, like everybody else in the world I asked myself why someone should remake a classic film almost shot for shot, and with all due respect for Cotton Weary, Liev Schreiber has never been Gregory Peck. Then I was reminded that it was just to find something fitting for the 06/06/06 release date. I can’t say I save much of this film, except maybe for Pete Postlethwaite as a very upset Father Brennan.
Hell House LLC Origins - The Carmichael Manor, written and directed by Stephen Cognetti, US, 2023 - ⭐⭐⭐½
I watched the first Hell House LLC in 2023. It was okay. I didn’t think about it again until someone mentioned that this last chapter was good; since they also mentioned that the intermediate films could happily be skipped, I did. So I probably missed some references here and there.
I have a feeling I’m getting scared of horrors again: the first half of this film was so creepy that I wondered if I would have trouble sleeping that night. Then the second part came and undid a lot of the atmosphere, by adding a second, even more implausible, set of found footage videos to explain the story.
I liked the two main characters (less so for the rest of the cast, at times awful), and the fact that they seemed to make mostly reasonable decisions when things got tough.
Better Man, directed by Michael Gracey, co-written with Simon Gleeson, Oliver Cole and Jory Anast, Australia/United Kingdom, 2024 - ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Well, some biopics make it clear from the poster that truth is just a vague concept, and those I can digest much better than self-proclaimed ’this is an exact representation of what happened’ ones. So, Rocketman yes, Bohemian Rhapsody no. But you see how the Academy disagrees.
I was not of the right age to like Take That, but I knew they existed, I heard a few of the singles, and I remember the announcement that Robbie Williams was leaving the band. Then, during his solo career, he released a few playful videos and singles with movie references (such as interpolating Nancy Sinatra’s James Bond song You Only Live Twice in his Millennium, and enrolling Nicole Kidman in a duet covering Somethin’ Stupid by Frank and Nancy Sinatra - again), so I started to like him a bit (and I also like Sexed Up… how cruel is the line I’ll go out and find another you?).
This fixation with the Sinatras is tangentially explained in Better Man, but its greatest achievement is making you feel emotionally invested in a self-deprecating CGI chimpanzee while he drives himself very slowly but very surely from the heights of early success to the hell of mature success. The first ten minutes are rather cringy - a ten-year-old ape singing Feel sets up the ‘big emotional trauma’, but its imaginative sequences and a couple of stunning musical numbers make up for it (the best one is available online - but of course it’s much more immersive on the big screen).
I have some doubts about a certain narrative choice (a person taking off a mask to great effect… but only to the chimp in the scene; no idea who this actress is supposed to be until we’re told - of course she isn’t the person whose role she’s playing, and even then, I doubt I would recognise the real person’s looks anyway).
Also, I have some doubts about people in general: how can you be in a movie theatre when Rock DJ or Let Me Entertain You are playing at full volume, and stay perfectly still? I looked around me at the other fifteen people or so in the room and nobody was tapping their feet or even mouthing the lyrics while I was struggling to keep myself together.
Cult, written and directed by Kōji Shiraishi, Japan, 2013 - ⭐⭐½
Randomly accepting whatever some algorithm proposed me, another creepy J-Horror I’ve never heard about, ok, let’s go.
As for Hell House, the first few minutes or so made me doubt I could finish the film. But soon the main threat in the film - which I could only describe as ectoplasmic worms - decreased immensely the perceived threat level. Then in the second part, a new character appeared - a blond guy so annoying that reminded me of the similar guy in Death Note, and it took away whatever interest I had left.
After the vision, I pondered that it reminded me a lot of Noroi; then I went to log it on Letterboxd and only then I realised director Shiraishi is responsible for both. Feeling very stupid, I then also learned he’s also the director of shape-shifting demon film Carved.
At least, I vaguely noticed that one of the main actresses, Yû Abiru, looked familiar (she was the main Tomie in Tomie vs Tomie - hey, I have to finish that series as well).
Look, I’m getting old and my brain has limited resources.
Anna and the Apocalypse, directed by John McPhail, written by Alan McDonald and Ryan McHenry, United Kingdom, 2017 - ⭐⭐
I remember being quite excited when I saw this film’s trailer ages ago, but then I forgot about it.
A horror musical seemed a good way to end the week.
The reality was a bit different. It’s very hard not to experience this film and think of Shaun of the Dead (the plot is not exactly the same, but it’s not very different either…), plus the lack of meaningful characters and of any interest in making the whole endeavour barely engaging (for a long time the protagonists hang out in a bowling alley, not knowing what to do and actively not doing anything) makes you wish for the film to just end. Instead, you are subjected to a lot of Paul Kaye’s histrionics, which would be perfectly fine if the rest of the cast were on the same level of over-acting.
The songs were equally disappointing… ok, Hollywood Ending is the big number and is entertaining enough (though a bit repetitive), and Turning My Life Around is good and uplifting (in a Good Morning Baltimore way). But then Kaye is jumping around singing Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now and, in search of distractions, my brain floated to thinking ‘What was that film with a much better sequence played over Don’t Stop Me Now?’… oh, I know.
Finally, if you’re writing a horror musical, you should absolutely never ever ever start your climax song with the lyrics It’s been said the world’s a stage and everyone must play their part, because then everyone who has ever watched a horror musical will start thinking Life’s a show and we all play our parts and wonder why they’re not rewatching Once More With Feeling instead.
I’m really sorry not to have liked this film, I’m sure it took a lot of passion and effort. But it’s also a fact the best sequence is lifted from the (nastier) original short by Ryan McHenry.